Yup, I've been lazy. I'm sure I'll get push back from that. Obviously, it's relative. In some ways, it's not exactly lazy, but prioritizing things differently. Unfortunately, it's also gotten to the point of prioritizing being lazy over most other things.
I've just been working on getting by. It's incredible how quickly things happen: junk piles up in various places, due dates come up, weight piles on, running ability is gone, etc. But to get those things back to normal it takes time. Things can be ripped away so quickly, but it takes time to build things back up.
I started thinking about this because it's been a theme in work, school and life for me this year. I was reminded that we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves.
I've been thinking things like:
1) Why can't I run 11:30/mile anymore?
2) This paper should be so much easier than it is.
3) I really should be much further along in X, Y and Z.
4) Wait, there's only one of me and I can only do so much...
It seems the puzzle is finally coming together for me. I've had a productive few days, and I hope it continues. I have had to remind myself that I cannot get the 8,000 things on my to do lists done today, this week, or this month.
I see a picture in my head of a skyscraper, half built. While we can't come to a halt on things, but we also need to be realistic with what we can do and how long the bigger picture takes to get to.
It seems like today, people are expected to do so much more and be everything to everyone at all times. It's not realistic, and I've been reminded of this recently. And what I take from that is that when we don't allow ourselves and others to hold us to unrealistic expectations, we're happier and more productive.