Lent

Yup, you read that right. Though, I'm sure that's not exactly what you expected to hear from me!

It's Friday, and honestly, I am not at all sad to see this week go. Between a farewell, being sick, a midterm, an injury and just crappy behavior by people in general, this week has not been my favorite.

But it also brought with it something that's new. I had started contemplating giving something up for Lent - not because I'm Catholic, but because I wanted to see if I could actually do it.

At this point, I've chosen my own rules for the 40 days of Lent. Basically, I've chosen to give up French Fries (my go to carb) and will be following the Friday rules of no meat (except fish...this means sushi...yes, this is how my brain works).

It's not about religion for me. It's more about willpower and figuring out if I can do it.

And there was another suggestion given when I asked about what to give up was to make sure to give something. I have no doubt that I will do that, but it is now in my mind to make sure that I do that.

Let's see how the next 38 days or so go...

Farewell Remarks - 2-9-13

Over the weekend, I had the privilege of giving my farewell remarks for the year at the MIJC 2012 Year End Convention. For those of you who didn't make it, here's the text. I know I missed many people, and I can only hope that you'll forgive me for that.

Tonight is a little bittersweet for me. I stand in front of you with some time off from the Michigan Jaycees Board of Directors in m near future. And as I've been thinking about what to say to you tonight, I've thought about some things I've learned along the way.

You see, a couple of years ago, the Michigan Jaycees honored Mike-E as an Outstanding Young Michigander. Some of you may remember this, some of you probably have no idea who I'm talking about. During his keynote speech, Mike-E gave us a piece of advice that I've kept in the back of my head ever since

"Avoid dream killers at all costs."

It seems pretty straight forward. But as I think more about this statement, I also think that not only should we avoid dream killers at all costs, but we need to surround ourselves with what I think are "dream enablers".

They're the people that let you talk out your crazy ideas. They are the ones that are there when things don't quite go the way you want them to or are a catastrophic failure. They're the ones cheering you along, even when the odds are stacked against you 5 to 1.

They are the people that, no matter what, are there for you through the good and the bad. They're the ones that make sure you're doing the best thing for you and are your support system when you stick to your values and stand up for what you believe in, even if that means becoming the outcast.

Tonight, I want to say thank you to my "dream enablers":

Mary Jo, Jamie and Carrie - Thank you for dealing with my inevitable snark (and joining me in being snarky). Thank you for being part of the best management team I could have ever asked for. You guys made me look good and for that I am forever grateful.

My management VPeeps: Thank you for a great year in 2012. We have been Building Tomorrow Today throughout the year and you have worked tirelessly to leave a stronger chapter to each of your successors. Please remember that I am here to help you at any time.

Pepper Potts aka Heather Stewart: You somehow know everything I'm thinking and everything I need. Thank you for sticking by me, literally and figuratively. I can never repay you for your loyalty and friendship.

Shawn Brueshaber - Thank you for being the personal chef of the management team. And for the circus music reference. Your input has been invaluable since we met as fellow chapter membership VPs.

Jim Williams - Regardless of distance, you have been a resource to me since we met at my first convention in 2008. I appreciate your continued input and your friendship over the years and I think I can speak for everyone in the room in saying thank you for your support of the Michigan Jaycees over the last five years.

Tanya Quackenbush, Wendy Taylor, Sarah Austin, Matt Sernau, Emma Baranowski, Kristin Gartska, Karen Haberland, Kari Kidrowski, Deb Mogdis, Sue Foltin, Kim Hubbell, Jay Johnson, Adam Bonarek, Mistie and Kenneth Watson and Hollie Olson: Thank you. You have no idea what a kind word at the right time means to me.

Kris Collee - While she's not here, she's always with me as my mentor, my mentor. You see, Kris is the reason I am a Jaycee and I can never thank her enough for everything she has done for me and the support she has given me.

Gil Mayrand - Despite our differences, you have been someone that has constantly been there for me since I met you as one of your membership VPs in 2008. Knowing that you're there means a lot. Thank you for checking in on me to make sure I'm ok.

#85 - I still believe that The Sky's the Limit. Thank you for everything you've provided to me, whether it's been advice, support or your ear for ideas. I cannot wait for you to lead the USJCs on a quest to Dream Big!

#87 - I struggled with what to write here for a long time. Thank you for perking your head up when you heard me talking about the Jaycees on the Senate floor in 2007. I truly believe that moment has changed the course of my Jaycee career. Thank you for everything, including, but not limited to: an array of inside jokes, sharing your experiences, your support, your loyalty and your friendship. Oh, and no, I didn't puke inside Jetta Force One.

Carrie, Fossi, Lauren and the Lansing Jaycees: I'm coming home. And luckily for you, school is taking up most of my time this semester, except somehow I still found time to say yes to co-chairing the Easter Egg Hunt. I'm the crazy one who wanted to do this state thing, even though the chapter hasn't always been interested in doing so. Regardless of that, you have offered me more support thank I can ever repay. I have watched this chapter grow and become what I consider to be the best chapter in Michigan. I am so proud to be part of the ride and call Lansing home.

There are so many other people who I've gotten to know who have given me so much over the years. I will treasure the time we've spent and will spend together in the future. As I finish my term as Management Development Vice President, I hope that you all continue to Dream. Do. Lead. for years to come.

Thank you, Michigan Jaycees.

I had a bad day...

I had a bad day today. In fact, I've had several bad days in a row, where I've been somewhat paralyzed in being productive, I've not wanted to get out of bed, I've been reading homework and not comprehending it. I've been crying at the drop of a hat, eating horribly and missed a training run.

But, I had a thought tonight on my way home from class. It's something I've gone back to a couple times today.

I observed something interesting today while waiting for my friend Dave and his daughter for lunch (pie) at Grand Traverse Pie Company downtown.

I watched a gentleman bundled up in coat and a hat with a tassel on it. He had been sitting a couple of tables away from the one that I chose. He eventually got up, and walked out the door. About 5-10 minutes later, he returned back inside the restaurant.

He was there for a short time, and ventured out into the cold again. He returned once again and was still there when I left. I can only guess, but I would say that he didn't have any other place to go. The highest temperature I saw today on the Comerica Bank building was 7 degrees.

I'm home tonight, in my apartment with the heat on, eating my dinner. I keep thinking about where this gentleman might be right now, and I can only hope he's at one of the local shelters and able to be warm. It pains me to think that he (and others like him) may be out tonight in these low temperatures. I don't know his story and there are any number of reasons for his situation.

I had a bad day today. It's been a struggle the last few days. But it's nothing in comparison to the struggle this man and others like him are going through.

I'm a shadowboxer, baby...

This week, I'm fighting...with myself. I'm beating up on myself in quite a few ways, and probably have no reason to be doing so. Today has been a bit of a dark day, yet I'm trying to just push through so I can get to tomorrow.

But mostly, I'm fighting with myself about food. I drive home from work and want to stop - Taco Bell, Burger King, Reno's, Buffalo Wild Wings...they've all been trying to lure me with their deliciousness. This year, I'm trying to eat better and eat out less. Being on the road a lot, it's been far too easy for me in the last couple of years to just stop and pick something up for dinner.

So I find myself looking up a lot of restaurant nutrition and knowing what fits into what I should be eating. And it's not just about calories - there's cholesterol, sodium, protein and all that other fun stuff. And the portion sizes! I mean, really, this is all stuff that I knew and that we all know, but for some reason it's hitting me now.

However, on the flip side, I'm really trying not to get crazy like some people I've seen. I'm maybe trying to lose about 10 pounds and make sure I'm eating right for my half marathon training. It's all about baby steps for me - not losing 100 pounds in 3 months or some other not realistic time.

But, I'm still fighting. I almost stopped at Taco Bell on the way home from the gym tonight. I went to Reno's on Monday night to watch the football game and had a chicken fingers basket.

I like food. I like bad food. I am still drinking one 12 oz. Mountain Dew a day (this is down from my two 20 oz. bottles a day habit). I'm not perfect. I'll have a bad day. I'll give in to Taco Bell (I'm pretty sure this is going to happen in the ext three days). But in the process, I'll start eating better, feeling better and saving some money.

I hope.

6 miles and getting back into the swing of things

This first week of 2013 has been the time to ease back into the real world. Mostly because I only had a two day work week and school doesn't start until next week (though there will be reading done for class this weekend). I've done a bit of sleeping, a bit of running and a bit of cleaning (among other things).

In some ways, it seems silly that just a change in year means things can be so different, but in my case, I really feel like things are different. for me, 2012 was about change - changes I made, changes forced on me, changes in priorities, changes in how I viewed things. In all of that, 2012 left me feeling like one giant open wound.

One of those changes has been running. I found myself running a 6 mile race (my longest distance ever) on New Year's Day. It didn't matter that I finished last. I finished (and I think it helped that I was being followed by the police). The following day, once I began to come out of my daze, I realized that on January 1, 2012, I would have never predicted that I would be running 6 miles, partly up a hill and partly by Lake Michigan. Even as of the morning of the race, I didn't think I could do it. I spent the rest of the day (and part of the next) in a daze that it never quite felt like I actually did it.

I can't begin to think of what it will be like for my half marathon. All I can say is that some small part of the wound that was opened in 2012 healed on New Year's Day. I know the wound that continues to heal at this point will have the Band-Aid torn off again before long, but it will get better and there will be something to help it heal a little more.

There are more changes to come in 2013, including being more supportive and loving to myself. It's not an easy thing for me and I've always struggled with it. It's not going to change overnight, and I'm always looking for ways to help get me through it.

As things get busier with work, school and running/working out this semester, I know there will be less time to think about things. And that's ok, because I feel like I have a decent foundation to make these changes throughout the year.

And who knows what is to come? I mean, I ran my longest distance ever on the first day of the year. We'll just have to see what more is in store for this year and beyond.

2013 has to be better, right?

It's been no secret. 2012 has not been my favorite year, for a variety of reasons. There were some really good things that happened (job change, running, weight loss), but they were overshadowed by the downsides.

So, I am really looking forward to 2013. It's a chance for me to continue some things I've started, and also some new beginnings.

With that, I've been working on some plans, and also my resolutions for 2013. I've put some things into motion already, as you'll see below. A lot of them also play off of each other, which I'm hoping will make them all easier to achieve!

1) Get to 145 lbs. and stay there: Many of you know that I went through some unexpected weight loss toward the end of 2011 and kept it off when I started running. In the last month or so, I've gained back a few pounds (I'm at 151 now) and my jeans are getting a little tight. So, I'd like to get back to where I was.

2) Finish my first half marathon: I'm already signed up, I've raised over $1400 on my way to $3500, and started training at the end of November. I'm running a 6 mile race on Tuesday (really?), which will be my longest run to date. No time goal, just want to finish the race (April 28).

3) Run 600 miles: Strangely enough, I think this is doable, particularly because of my training schedule for the half marathon. We'll see.

4) Read 10 books (for fun): I really haven't read as much as I'd like in the last year. I just recently purchased an iPad mini, so this will hopefully be a little easier for me to do. With school, I kept the number of books fairly low (in the past I've done 25-50).

5) Pad my savings account: Right now, it consists of a whopping $200. And that's only because I started putting some away in November. I've been navigating my Virtual Wallet from PNC to help with this endeavor. However, some changes (like how much I spend on gas) will help with this.

6) Eat out less: Could help with putting more in my savings account. I bought a slow cooker (yes, I spent money to save money, what a novel concept) and hope to make more with that. I spend way too much money eating out and the calories are ridiculous. Even eating out one less time a week will help. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out exactly how much I've spent the last few months eating out. This is SO HARD for me though, being single and hating to cook.

7) 200 liquid calories per day, maximum: Ooof, this one is going to be tough. I love my Dew. But this allows me to have one per day, if I choose.

8) Payoff one credit card and significantly reduce another: I'm actually paying off two here this coming week, but this is in addition to that, since I've already had this plan in place for a few weeks. So, this is in addition to what I'm already planning on doing (and yes, I have a plan in place to get this done).

9) Get to 15 credit hours in my MPA program: I'm pretty sure this is doable. After this upcoming semester, I'll be at 9 credit hours. I may even exceed this. We'll see how the summer and fall go. My program requires 36 credit hours and then 3 credit hours for a project paper, for 39 total credit hours.

10) Clean and organize my apartment to be presentable: Don't come in here. Seriously. I really don't need someone to call Hoarders, since I'm already in the process of throwing tons of crap out. But in the meantime, it will look like a disaster zone as I go through everything and chuck it.

Some weeks will be better than others. I'm really going to try to be ok if I go out to eat more often one week, don't put away as much one pay period, miss a workout, etc. We're all human. And sometimes, a cupcake just calls and you have to blow your calories for the day. Some of these have a specific goal and some are long term changes where this is the first step.

Here's to 2013!!!

Pet people are weird, but it's who we are

I was going to write a post tonight about my New Year's Resolutions for 2013, but something has been stuck in my head all day and honestly, I need to get this out of my system.

Those of you who know me know that I have this amazing 8 year old pup named Dakota (a mutt, actually).

Being single and having lived alone for awhile, Dakota is like my kid. She is who I come home to and who I take care of. In return, she loves me unconditionally (probably just a little bit more when I have food) and keeps me warm in the winter. She has all those quirks that only her person would love (don't touch her feet!).

It makes me incredibly angry when others belittle how pet owners feel about their pets. Especially when we unexpectedly have to deal with the possibility of losing a member of the family. I know when the time comes, no matter how old she may be, I will be a wreck when Dakota leaves this life.

I guess only pet people might understand this. But our pets are a huge part of our family. Especially when they are all we have at times. They are living, breathing, have medical needs and psychological needs. They are an extension of us, just like our human family (and sometimes, even more so). 

I will never feel bad about how I treat my dog. She's listened to me complain, cry, laugh. She's dealt with me sleeping in, even when she's ready to get up. She's handled hours on end when I've been gone and she still loves me. I make sure she has food, water, treats, a warm place to sleep and lots of love. She has plenty of bones to chew and Greenies to look forward to. 

I don't know that I ever understood how much a part of my life she would be when I adopted her from the pound, but it's been worth every cent I've spent on her over the years. She is my family.