This morning on my way to work, I started thinking about how there are some men out there that bully women around, and I suppose that it’s a good day to think about that, because it’s V-Day. I always look at today as being more of a day to bring awareness to stopping violence against women and girls around the world.
Well, I think that I started thinking about why some men feel they need to be so intimidating. Is it because they are so threatened by a smart woman? Do they feel as though in order to be masculine they must berate anything feminine? Is it because they grow up in a culture that glorifies women as sex objects and nothing else?
Why is it when a man is assertive to get what he wants, it’s a good thing, but when a woman is assertive, she’s a bitch? There are all these questions that I have, and they all come back to society. If we start changing how our children are brought up in society, then maybe we’d have a chance. The problem is, everything is based on how much money is made, and sex and sexist things sell. It’s shoved in our face all the time – watch TV for one hour, and you’ll see.
Now that I have posed all these questions, I am off to go do some other things.
Currently Reading: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
1 comment:
It's all about power and control, and while abusive relationships have been around throughout history and across cultures, it seems to me that over the past century some men have increasingly felt the "rightful place" held by their fathers over their mothers is less and less theirs. In other words, many men feel (and fear) a loss of control, perceiving that the so-called "guarantees" of past generations of men are no longer givens. I would say that many (if not most) men deal with this anxiety productively, if not outright celebrate women's empowerment and the potentials of a gender-neutral world. But there are a lot of men - a minority, but a vocal, visible and horrible one - who react with abuse. I hate it with a passion, which is why I volunteer with CARE (Capital Area Response Effort) to counsel survivors of domestic and relationship abuse and help them understand that an abusive bond is NOT the norm. One powerful tool we use on our visits is the Power and Control wheel (http://www.duluth-model.org/documents/PhyVio.pdf), which demonstrates that abuse takes many forms beyond brute physical force. Many of our clients find that reading this is a cathartic experience, as they recognize many aspects of their relationships among the scenarios described on the wheel.
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