On decisions

I know some of you may be looking forward to a blog on emotional reciprocity, but here's what's coming out tonight. It may not make you happy, it may piss you off, but after this past week, I'm writing it down.

Typically, when I write about difficult situations, I don't identify the person involved by name. This can be for any number of reasons, but mostly because of the number of people I know who are acquaintances or friends of other people I know. I hate making people feel like they have to take a side, and I typically don't try to drag others into things. When I write, I tend to do it in order to get thoughts out and sort through things I'm thinking. It works most of the time.

In recent times, I spoke of someone with whom I had cut off communication. I know I probably should have done it better, including a direct message to the person. Over the last year or so, I've been trying to cut the negativity out of my life, and that includes people who have more negatives than positives (or at least that's what they show).

And what I understand is that I will be who I am and others will be who they are. At the end of the day, we decide who we want in our lives and who we do not want in our lives. We can also work to minimize our exposure to people who drain us emotionally, even when what they do has nothing to do with us.

So, I cut the string with Shawn. I did it by unfriending him on Facebook (it's odd how different things are in 2013). I should have probably called; I should have probably emailed. But I didn't. And what has come of that has become an interesting situation, in which I'm an ungrateful bitch (which I understand was the case even before), with possible narcissistic personality disorder, being immature and our mutual friends and acquaintances are horrible for not taking one side or the other. It's been constant name calling, even before I made this decision.

In other words, I feel as though I was justified in my decision, even though I didn't go about it in the correct way. The only thing we can do is learn from it and move on, hopefully to do things differently the next time.

But despite this, I'm still trying to figure out how to reconcile my decision with the view I hold that I'm generally a good person, despite what he says. Not everyone will be friends with everyone else, and that's ok.

Unfortunately, when one person views a relationship differently than the other, friction happens. Expectations differ from each side - one person gives and gives and gives, then expects the other person to do the same, even though that person isn't necessarily as invested in the relationship. As much as we may like someone and want them to be our friend, it's up to them to decide if that's what they want too.

So, the point? Do what's right for you. Don't waste your energy being negative about others; use your energy to do something good. That's what I've been trying to do this past year - but whether or not I've been successful remains to be seen in the future.

Enjoy your time off, rest and plan for the future. Happy Everything to you all.