Work for a cause,
Not applause.
Live life to express,
Not to impress.
Don't strive to make your presence noticed,
Just make your absence felt.
This past weekend, some things have gone on that made me reassess some people in my life. It's hard. At this point, what I need are people that are positive. I was finding that there were some people that had great positive qualities, but the negatives just outweighed that, causing stress and drama all around.
So I finally cut the string. I refuse to feel guilty about it. It felt like nothing I ever did would be good enough for this person. It stressed me out.
Which got me to thinking about friends and the things we do for them. I've seen a couple of instances the last year or so in which a "friend" holds something over the head of another. And not just anything, but BIG things. And the last time I checked, friendship wasn't supposed to be a checklist. Yes, friends do things for their friends. There's no question about it. But it's not a game of who has marked more items off the checklist or "I did this for you so now you should worship me/do this for me/love me".
We do things for our friends because it's the right thing to do, NOT because we want brownie points. I encourage others not because I'm expecting a thank you or anything, but because someone was there to encourage me.
The minute we try to be a hero is the minute we end up not being one. It's the times you provide a comforting shoulder, let someone know you're thinking of them, have their back or just listen without expecting anything in return that make people heroes.
Over the past year I've learned that I need to live life on my own terms and forget what other people think I'm supposed to be doing. I strive to be the best ME that I can be, and I wholeheartedly recommend others do the same.
I challenge you to take a few minutes every day to do provide an act of kindness - to someone you know, someone you don't...it doesn't matter. Spread your positivity to others - it'll come back tenfold in the end.
1 comment:
A very good post, and one with a point that too many forget. A friendship is not a matter of quid pro quo, and it shouldn't be. A friendship is instead a matter of a bond between two people that is part voluntary, and part organic growth from shared thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It is a bond that carries certain obligations by its nature - to be there for one another, to help in times of need, to care for each other. Because if we don't care for one another, who else will? But this obligation isn't legalistic. It isn't a matter of statute or semantics. How can there be semantics? To borrow from law, in friendship, there is no "letter of the law", but only "spirit of the law". So long as we behave according to the spirit of the voluntary obligations of friendship, we are in a state of friendship. When we start being more concerned about keeping score, that isn't friendship, but some kind of reciprocal transactional relationship more akin to military alliance. Friendship has to be more than that.
What is really disturbing is when you are there for someone, and behave as a friend, and feel that heart-warming bond of friendship, and then, when you are in need, you find that the other person is not there, and does not feel that bond. There are few worse feelings.
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