I went to a yoga workshop today at Just B Yoga called "Yoga for Depression and Anxiety". It focused on breathing, movement and how to change your thoughts.
Something the instructor said has stuck with me. We need to be compassionate with ourselves. As human beings, we can be compassionate to other people, but we tend to be hard on ourselves. We expect a lot of people, and especially ourselves.
Think about it - if you and a friend went through the same exact experience, say, losing a job due to layoffs - what would you say to her and what would you say to yourself?
Most likely, you would be encouraging and supportive of your friend. And while you may be that way to yourself, you may also throw in the thoughts of failure and what did you do wrong. Even things that are out of our control, we find ourselves berating ourselves and putting ourselves down.
Why can't you be as supportive of you as you would be of your friend?
Today, I'm struggling with this. As I watch all these amazing runners who finished a half marathon or a marathon, it's so awesome! What did I do today? I ran a 5K. In some ways I feel like I should be doing longer distances or posting faster times. I'm used to being good at things. But running isn't coming easy to me and I really have to make a conscious decision to tell myself that's ok and I will get there someday But there's still that voice inside my head that doesn't think I'm doing good enough.
Same with my yoga class from last week - here I thought I was going to go to class on Monday and Wednesday and be a little sore, but still be able to do both. I could barely lift my arms by Wednesday and had to modify my plan. And now that I'm not necessarily in pain, I'm disappointed in myself for not going the second day last week.
I'm told that I'm pretty awesome. But I don't always believe it. What comes next is working on seeing myself the way that others see me and being more compassionate to myself. And while this isn't going to be easy, it'll be better in the long run.
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” - African Proverb
1 comment:
Dear sweet Angela,
What a very honest and open blog post.
You ARE awesome!.
I love that Kim's words about compassion resonated after the race. It's what you needed to hear when you needed to hear it.
And even when we aren't compassionate right away - we can't beat ourselves up about it.
Sometimes I think forgiveness and compassion begin with redefining success and winning.
I think we've over-glamorized and elevated success to celebrity, megamillions jackpot status.
Winning can be simple and sweet and humble.
Success can and should be measured in footsteps and not by marathons.
Love ya.
B
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