Just when you thought it was safe...

Yesterday was awful. The only thing that made it better was going out for sushi for dinner. Work just kicked my butt - I had a lot of constituents, lots of phone calls coming in, and just really felt like I got nothing done for as busy as I was. So, today had to be better, right?

Not so much. Today ended up being a day that just made me feel drained, sad, and just plain sick. I skipped out on happy hour plans because I just had to withdraw. The last few hours of the day, I just felt so useless, didn't want to be there, tired, and just wanted to cry. I'm going to guess that partly, I don't feel well, and the other part of me feeling like this is I'm just feeling a little insignificant. Hm, I sound like a commercial for Zoloft. Sigh.

I'm a little confused because I feel lonely, yet I want to be alone. That doesn't really make any sense, does it?

"The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated."

I'm fairly certain the title of this blog hits the nail on the head for me. I love a little appreciation! Luckily, I'm feeling appreciated at the moment.

I'm writing tonight in the spirit of being quite at ease. I'm not overly happy, not bummed out. I pleasantly exhausted, and almost ready to go to bed. But most of all, with the crappy mood I've been in lately, I'm feeling a little bit of peace. Which is good - I hope it means that I'm getting myself back on track.

I know this sounds silly, but I'm thinking that maybe I'm having a sense of closure. At some point over the last couple of weeks, my life just got thrown out of whack, in turn, throwing my moods out of whack. Yesterday and today have helped me come back to reality. I've felt productive, had a friend help me get through kicking my own ass, and it never hurts to have a dog that love you unconditionally! All in all though, I'm feeling quite content. Let's hope this continues into tomorrow...

You ever feel...

Like there's nothing you can do to help someone? A friend of mine, who recently found out she was pregnant, has been having problems this week. She went to the ER last night, and has now found out that she lost the baby. She called earlier, and I drove over to her house and hung out with her and her husband for a bit. But, I feel helpless - I wish there were more I could do for her.

Before that, I was really excited that it was finally vacation time!!!! This morning was the Lansing Jaycees Children's Shopping Spree. There was a big storm yesterday afternoon, around 4pm. During that time, I was still at work, but there was a tornado warning one county over. I ended up taking off from work so I didn't get stuck at work. Anyway, the storm knocked out the power at my apartment, so when I got home, nothing worked. I took a short nap, then tried to do as much stuff before dark as possible. Then I tried to fall asleep again. It took me until after midnight. Then, at 1:30am, my power went back on. Then I couldn't get back to sleep again. Then, my alarm rang at 6:15am....waaaay too early.

Off to the Shopping Spree - 3 of us ended up having only one kid, but it worked out great. He was an awesome kid, and we ended up getting him a whole bunch of stuff. After shopping, we went to McDonald's for breakfast.

Now, I'm back in Muskegon, and trying to unwind. I know I probably forgot to do something at work before I left for the week, but at the moment, I'm trying not to think about it. I'm just feeling this mix of feelings right now.