Where do we go from here?

I've been in the car a lot the last few days, taking a trip to Boston for some sightseeing. As we were driving back, it dawned on me that today was going to be the last day of 2013, and I might want to write something about the past year and what 2014 might hold.

2013 was pretty good. I did a lot of traveling, had more time for me, got halfway through my MPA program at Western. In the last half of the year, I returned to reading more and ran my second half marathon.

When I started the year, I was writing down things that I was doing and putting them in a bucket to pull out today. I wasn't THAT good at keeping up with it, and hope to be better in 2014. But, here's a highlight list!

1/1/13: Ran my first 6 mile run on New Year's Day. Big deal, despite being last!
1/27/13: Honored to be named co-Key Member for the 2012 with the Lansing Jaycees and also receiving the Spirit of the Jaycees award for the second time in my career.
2/1/13: Got my first pedicure. Maybe I should go do that again.
2/2/13: Ran my first 8K in Frankenmuth. I was able to reach 11:01 min/mile. Subsequently went to Zehnder's for the first time and ate waaaay too much!
3/9/13: I ran 10 miles for the first time ever.
4/6/13: I ran 13 miles for the first time ever.
4/28/13: I ran my first half marathon in Washington, D.C. This was also my first trip to D.C. Along with the half marathon, another highlight of this trip was being able to visit Arlington Cemetery and see the Kennedy gravesites.
5/17/13: I shaved my head for cancer. 12 inches of hair was donated to Children with Hair Loss.
6/6/13: I got to visit Seattle and Portland again! I was also able to get maple bacon donuts. :-)
6/12/13: Fleetwood Mac was awesome in concert!
6/15/13: I felt honored to be there when Carrie and Jason were engaged. :-)
7/2/13: One year work anniversary. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to learn on the job.
8/25/13: I went camping...and liked it?
8/26/13: I met Batman today! Adam West signed my Batman button.
9/2/13: I ran across the Mackinac Bridge. This was an amazing experience.
10/20/13: I ran my second half marathon - the Grand Rapids Half. I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I received my first real bling!
11/19/13: I officially am halfway through my MPA degree program.
12/4 - 6/13: I was able to visit D.C. again for a work trip. During this time I was lucky enough to sit in the Supreme Court chambers and pay my respects to Nelson Mandela at the South African Embassy when he passed away.
12/17/13: I've been able to keep a 4.0 GPA in my grad program.
12/27 - 30/13: Visited the JFK Presidential Museum (2nd one on the Presidential Libraries list), walked the Freedom Trail, and did other various touristy things in Boston. Also visited 4 state capitals (Albany, Boston, Providence, Hartford) during the trip.

Which brings me to today, the last day of 2013. Somewhere in there, my trivia team won $1,500, I met some great new people, cut some negativity out of my life and continued to try to make a difference.

Today, I'm catching up on sleep, getting ready to run (walk) a 5K tomorrow (I've been horrible about running since the half in October) in order to jump start my training for the year, cleaning up, finishing a book. I'm also working on things to focus on in 2014, which will include:

Running - I plan on doing 3 half marathons this spring - March, April and May. Maybe one in June also.

Work - Always something new to learn!

Yoga - I need to go back, if not just to use the 5 classes I bought. But more because I need it.

Technology - I need less of this in my life.

School - I have two classes this spring, and then a semester off before going back full throttle again. I'm looking to keep up the GPA.

Jaycees - Local and state board. It'll be nice to be back and I'm thankful for people that are helping me return.

Reading - I need to make sure I make time to read for fun.

There are times that have been difficult in 2013. The best I can do is take what I've gotten from the good and the bad times and move forward into 2014. I hope that 2014 brings joy and success to you all.

Happy New Year!

Lazy makeup

I understand this may come as a shock to people, but I like makeup. I have quite a bit of it, especially eye shadow. The problem is, I'm lazy. When it comes to making the choice between sleeping 5 extra minutes and putting on makeup in the morning, sleep almost always (99.999% of the time) wins.

Most of the time, people see me without makeup, so it's a surprise when I do end up wearing it. It doesn't quite seem to go along with the rest of me: laid back, nerdy, etc. 

2013 was a lot about purging things in my life. That will continue into the new year, along with trying to be a little more put together. 2014 is coming up and because I've spent some money recently on some makeup I really like, one of my goals is to start wearing it on a more regular basis. 

So here's my ask to you all - do you have tips on getting it into my routine? Or ideas on how to blend eyeshadow shades (I have plenty of Urban Decay shadows). 

On decisions

I know some of you may be looking forward to a blog on emotional reciprocity, but here's what's coming out tonight. It may not make you happy, it may piss you off, but after this past week, I'm writing it down.

Typically, when I write about difficult situations, I don't identify the person involved by name. This can be for any number of reasons, but mostly because of the number of people I know who are acquaintances or friends of other people I know. I hate making people feel like they have to take a side, and I typically don't try to drag others into things. When I write, I tend to do it in order to get thoughts out and sort through things I'm thinking. It works most of the time.

In recent times, I spoke of someone with whom I had cut off communication. I know I probably should have done it better, including a direct message to the person. Over the last year or so, I've been trying to cut the negativity out of my life, and that includes people who have more negatives than positives (or at least that's what they show).

And what I understand is that I will be who I am and others will be who they are. At the end of the day, we decide who we want in our lives and who we do not want in our lives. We can also work to minimize our exposure to people who drain us emotionally, even when what they do has nothing to do with us.

So, I cut the string with Shawn. I did it by unfriending him on Facebook (it's odd how different things are in 2013). I should have probably called; I should have probably emailed. But I didn't. And what has come of that has become an interesting situation, in which I'm an ungrateful bitch (which I understand was the case even before), with possible narcissistic personality disorder, being immature and our mutual friends and acquaintances are horrible for not taking one side or the other. It's been constant name calling, even before I made this decision.

In other words, I feel as though I was justified in my decision, even though I didn't go about it in the correct way. The only thing we can do is learn from it and move on, hopefully to do things differently the next time.

But despite this, I'm still trying to figure out how to reconcile my decision with the view I hold that I'm generally a good person, despite what he says. Not everyone will be friends with everyone else, and that's ok.

Unfortunately, when one person views a relationship differently than the other, friction happens. Expectations differ from each side - one person gives and gives and gives, then expects the other person to do the same, even though that person isn't necessarily as invested in the relationship. As much as we may like someone and want them to be our friend, it's up to them to decide if that's what they want too.

So, the point? Do what's right for you. Don't waste your energy being negative about others; use your energy to do something good. That's what I've been trying to do this past year - but whether or not I've been successful remains to be seen in the future.

Enjoy your time off, rest and plan for the future. Happy Everything to you all.

What a week

This past week, I had the opportunity to go to Washington, D.C. again this year (squee!). This time, it was for a tobacco control meeting/conference for work (which was really very good). Over the three days I was there, I walked somewhere between 8-10 miles (I have a blister to prove it) and confirmed my love of the Metro.

The problem with short trips like this is that there's not a ton of time to see things in town, but I think I did pretty well this time around, considering the time constraints.

1) International Spy Museum: There's an exhibit of 50 years of Bond villains right now, which was pretty awesome. And of course, I picked up a spy themed t-shirt. They have a bunch of awesome spy gear from over the years. Oh, and THIS:

2) Supreme Court: I had thought ahead of time to contact my Senator and get a tour scheduled. Unfortunately, there were multiple problems with this (they sent the letter to the wrong address, I read the date wrong on the letter, the tour was scheduled for a time I couldn't go). I showed up on Wednesday when I thought my tour was and quickly realized that it was the wrong day. But, I was there in time for a courtroom lecture. And then, I realized that I was the ONLY one there for a courtroom lecture! I was able to enter and sit in the chamber (sorry, no photos allowed) and the docent was able to give me a one on one lecture and Q&A. It turned out great and if you have the opportunity to go for a tour or lecture, do it. I can't even describe how amazing it was to be in the same room where some amazing people have served.

3) Anchorman: The Exhibit: My visit coincided with a new exhibit at the Newseum, based on the movie Anchorman. There were props and costumes and even a news desk to take pictures! I missed Will Ferrell being there by a day (d'oh), but it was still fun! Of course, I got a t-shirt with various quotes on it (and pins and a scotch glass. Tee hee). BAXTER!!!!

4) Politics & Prose: A mile away from the Metro stop and I walked it in the rain. It seems that I should just pack an umbrella when I go to D.C., because I have bought one each time I've been there. What an amazing bookstore, and it was very cool to hear one of the clerks talking about the President's visit the previous weekend. I picked up a book (shocking, I know) that I was looking for and a t-shirt. I also visited Krammerbooks on Wednesday evening, but didn't make it back there again.

5) Nelson Mandela: A big coincidence, but Nelson Mandela passed away on Thursday, and since I was in town, I made the trek over to the South African Embassy to pay my respects. It was pretty amazing, since there is a statue of Mandela in front of the building. However, the building was under construction so there was a fence in front of the statue. People left flowers and notes in the fence, and TV crews were there to record. I would estimate there were about 25-30 people there when I was out.

I've concluded that I really need more time in D.C. because there are a lot of places I haven't been able to get to in my two visits there. But, I've had the opportunity to have some very unique experiences.

My travels are not over this month - I have another work trip to Cincinnati and then at the tail end of the year, a trip to Boston to be nerdy (let's be honest - I am nerdy EVERYWHERE) and visit the JFK Presidential Museum and Freedom Trail.

Yay!

The Holidays - A Double Edged Sword?

It's November. Each year, I typically have this dual feeling about going into the holiday season, and this year is similar, though the feeling is a bit different.

You see, growing up, family gatherings were fairly small. Including me, mom, dad and sometimes brother. The immediate family was never very close to any of the extended family, so Thanksgiving and Christmas were basically days I'd see family I pretty much saw all the time.

Family gatherings are still fairly small, and I tend to use the holiday season as time to recharge and spend some much needed time relaxing and doing fun things. I enjoy this time because I can catch up on reading, not worry about class, spend time with the dog, sleep, binge watch TV shows, etc.

But on the other hand, the holidays make me feel lonely. I like to call it the Bridget Jones syndrome. It's not that people go out of their way or try to make you feel bad because you're single, it just is. Luckily, I think my parents stopped asking about marriage/kids a long time ago. And while I enjoy being single, I have also found that I miss having someone other than my dog to come home to. Of course when I think of this, I do know that the person I come home to will have to be the right person.

So, I continue on in the path of life and handling things as they come along. I know that things will fall into place and that in many ways, they already have.

In the meantime, holiday season has commenced and it will include multiple viewings of Love Actually and Bridget Jones' Diary and a lot of catch up on movies, TV and books. Along with plenty of gatherings, I have no doubt. Oh, and I can't forget food!

Friendship is not a checklist

Work for a cause,
Not applause.
Live life to express,
Not to impress.
Don't strive to make your presence noticed,
Just make your absence felt.

This past weekend, some things have gone on that made me reassess some people in my life. It's hard. At this point, what I need are people that are positive. I was finding that there were some people that had great positive qualities, but the negatives just outweighed that, causing stress and drama all around.

So I finally cut the string. I refuse to feel guilty about it. It felt like nothing I ever did would be good enough for this person. It stressed me out.

Which got me to thinking about friends and the things we do for them. I've seen a couple of instances the last year or so in which a "friend" holds something over the head of another. And not just anything, but BIG things. And the last time I checked, friendship wasn't supposed to be a checklist. Yes, friends do things for their friends. There's no question about it. But it's not a game of who has marked more items off the checklist or "I did this for you so now you should worship me/do this for me/love me".

We do things for our friends because it's the right thing to do, NOT because we want brownie points. I encourage others not because I'm expecting a thank you or anything, but because someone was there to encourage me.

The minute we try to be a hero is the minute we end up not being one. It's the times you provide a comforting shoulder, let someone know you're thinking of them, have their back or just listen without expecting anything in return that make people heroes.

Over the past year I've learned that I need to live life on my own terms and forget what other people think I'm supposed to be doing. I strive to be the best ME that I can be, and I wholeheartedly recommend others do the same.

I challenge you to take a few minutes every day to do provide an act of kindness - to someone you know, someone you don't...it doesn't matter. Spread your positivity to others - it'll come back tenfold in the end.

I'm sorry, I'm not available right now...

Over the last week, I've found a disturbing pattern in my habits that I'm trying to correct.

I can be that person that freaks out if you don't get back to me right away (depending on who you are).

In the world we live in, technology is integrated into our lives more than ever before. Conversations consist of "oh, did you see on Facebook?" or "that text was so funny!"

We go out for a meal and one or many of the people are engaged with their phones. We answer work emails after hours and on weekends. We get mad when someone doesn't pick up the phone when we call because their phone should be on them at all times.

This insanity has to stop.

I love my iPhone and my iPad. I still "talk" on the phone in addition to texting and email. I hold myself to a rule that I will return someone's message within 24-72 hours (if I'm not on vacation, but really, when was the last time I actually took a vacation?).

My attention span has diminished and I fail to remember all the things I used to at times. My patience can be tried at times, but I'm learning to control it. I have no doubt that it's because technology can make us feel like we have to be connected to all things and people at all times.

So, I'm making a conscious decision to shut the phone off. Log out of Facebook. Read a book, watch a movie, hang out with friends and live in the moment. We miss so much when we're living in the online world.

My challenge to you is to figure out when and how you can unplug. Enjoy time without your phone or gadget. It'll be well worth it, and I bet you'll find that your life changes in small ways.